The agony and the….agony

So it’s been a rough start to the year, aaaand it’s been a bit rougher the last 6 weeks, aaaaand rougher still the last few days.

So I posted (I think) about my body having been in a rougher state since a bunch of stress beginning of April…physical and emotional, med change, chemical exposure…But the past few days have been super rough with water retention and pain. Yesterday and today have been acute, super bad water retention and pain especially in my legs. Just sitting causes loss of circulation in my legs and feet and I have a lot of muscle and deep tissue pain along with “tingling/pin pricks” all over (my arms too but not as bad).
I had an event today that I was not going to miss under any circumstances. I was able to go and enjoy myself but had to try and ignore the pain in my legs and feeling they were so “tight” it is harder to bend them. My chief complaint is always my legs because they seem to be the most effected and painful, but my face is puffy and my arms are very swollen as well.

I am just wanting an end and an answer to this. I know there is something going on that is either getting missed or needs to be addressed a different way. I know this is my body overacting to literally everything, being “angry” all the time.
I am lying in bed right now doing nothing…feels like I ran a marathon. So far a more committed routine this past week of veggie juicing, 1 hour infrared sauna sessions and new anti yeast meds are either making me worse or causing a wave of herx misery, don’t know which is right.

Okay rant done!! Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully I will find the magic spigot tomorrow.

Tried to wear something long enough to cover up my “sausages”, but dang I still look swollen, and a bit of a case of moon face.

The Swelling is coming, The Swelling is coming!

So the bane of my existence (inflammation/water retention/edema) is rearing it’s ugly head in a bad way today. Now I would have to say it has been persistent for about the last 8 years, it goes up and down, down and up….but always there. Now there are certain things that I know will make it worse, those things are pretty much all food related, but that doesn’t count for all the times I have no idea why I blow up, why my legs feel and look like jello, and why I can’t get the words “water bed” out of my head when I look at my arms.
I know that cytokines, mold toxins, candida and the rest….can cause this, but seriously stop already!
I have been on herbal treatments of all sorts, have been on hchlorothiazide for years….I just want an end to this.
Shout out to other autoimmune sufferers; do you deal with this? Have you found anything that helps?

(Photo isn’t my arm, I would be too embarrassed, but I do have underhang)


So How Was Your Weekend?…the difficult questions for an invisible illness sufferer

So if you are blessed enough (like I am) to be at the stage of illness/treatment where you can hold down a job, I am sure you have heard this question on a regular basis…”How was your weekend?”
It’s a tough one to answer especially to coworkers who see you “functioning” somewhat normally, but don’t quite grasp that in order to do this at work it means you don’t have weekends.
Evenings and weekends are about recouping, resting, vegging. At least most of the time. That makes it very hard to explain to people that you really didn’t do anything, and this weekend was just like the weekend before, and the weekend before that, not much happened. It’s hard because, well, “you look fine” right? 😉

So I am just, just, poking my head back out of a pretty significant slump that has lasted for the last two months. Something I have learned from when I last had a period of time when I felt better, is not to use up all your energy. You see a couple months before my slump (I’m owning it!), I had a period of about two months where I felt better than I had in years, I did some stuff, I saw some people, I helped some people, and it was all good. Now I don’t think overtaxing myself was what caused my crash, but I don’t think it helped any either. So we live we learn right?

So this time as I am feeling a little more human again I am thinking of letting my body use most of my extra energy (I call it extra, normal people call it normal). Now I do want to see some friends again, and be able to do a few things, but I am going to be very careful.
I have been slowly coming out of my bad fatigue over the last two weeks, but last week was REALLY tough on my body with some nasty bladder/kidney symptoms and pain. I had gone to the doctor and I’m clear of any UTI or stones, the thought is that I was having a major detox. Thankfully those symptoms are ebbing away, and I am looking forward to (hopefully, fingers crossed, knock on wood, salt over shoulder…) some better days ahead.
So tomorrow I will face the inevitable question “How was your weekend?”
Answer: I actually got out to see a movie with a friend! Woot woot!

How do you feel when others ask you about your week/weekend? Does it depress you? Do the flood gates open? Or is it just no big deal?