The Swelling is coming, The Swelling is coming!

So the bane of my existence (inflammation/water retention/edema) is rearing it’s ugly head in a bad way today. Now I would have to say it has been persistent for about the last 8 years, it goes up and down, down and up….but always there. Now there are certain things that I know will make it worse, those things are pretty much all food related, but that doesn’t count for all the times I have no idea why I blow up, why my legs feel and look like jello, and why I can’t get the words “water bed” out of my head when I look at my arms.
I know that cytokines, mold toxins, candida and the rest….can cause this, but seriously stop already!
I have been on herbal treatments of all sorts, have been on hchlorothiazide for years….I just want an end to this.
Shout out to other autoimmune sufferers; do you deal with this? Have you found anything that helps?

(Photo isn’t my arm, I would be too embarrassed, but I do have underhang)

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Yummy Evening Treat Invention

I love persimmons! I have always enjoyed them this time of year. Although I am mostly fruit-free right now I am allowing myself to have my favorite fruit.

So here is tonight’s fall time warm and spicy treat invention:

Warm Persimmon Spice Yogurt

1 large fuyu persimmon peeled and cubed
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cardamom
1/2 dropper liquid stevia in English toffee flavor (Sweet Drops)
2-3 packets truvia
1/2 tsp butterscotch flavor (Frontier all natural)
3/4 cup goat milk yogurt (plain unsweetened)

Put prepared persimmon in microwave safe bowl with the spices and sweetener. Microwave for about a minute and a half to two minutes (persimmon will create its own moisture as it cooks).
Add butterscotch flavor and goat milk and stir.
Sweet and spicy, warm and creamy!

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Evening Treat

Was hankering for something chocolate and creamy on my way home from work.
I had seen a chocolate mousse recipe made with avocado earlier in the day, so I thought I would just wing it with my own..

1/2 avocado
4 tablespoons cocoa powder
3 packets truvia
1/2 dropper liquid chocolate stevia
1 cup goat milk kefir
3 ice cubes
1 tablespoon unflavored gelatin
(Okay so I ended up going for more of a frozen yogurt)
Stuck it all in the Vitamix and stuck it in the freezer. Would have been better if I had the patience to let it set, even so my 1/2 frozen yogurt 1/2 chocolate soup was still tangy, creamy, chocolaty and delicious.

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So How Was Your Weekend?…the difficult questions for an invisible illness sufferer

So if you are blessed enough (like I am) to be at the stage of illness/treatment where you can hold down a job, I am sure you have heard this question on a regular basis…”How was your weekend?”
It’s a tough one to answer especially to coworkers who see you “functioning” somewhat normally, but don’t quite grasp that in order to do this at work it means you don’t have weekends.
Evenings and weekends are about recouping, resting, vegging. At least most of the time. That makes it very hard to explain to people that you really didn’t do anything, and this weekend was just like the weekend before, and the weekend before that, not much happened. It’s hard because, well, “you look fine” right? 😉

So I am just, just, poking my head back out of a pretty significant slump that has lasted for the last two months. Something I have learned from when I last had a period of time when I felt better, is not to use up all your energy. You see a couple months before my slump (I’m owning it!), I had a period of about two months where I felt better than I had in years, I did some stuff, I saw some people, I helped some people, and it was all good. Now I don’t think overtaxing myself was what caused my crash, but I don’t think it helped any either. So we live we learn right?

So this time as I am feeling a little more human again I am thinking of letting my body use most of my extra energy (I call it extra, normal people call it normal). Now I do want to see some friends again, and be able to do a few things, but I am going to be very careful.
I have been slowly coming out of my bad fatigue over the last two weeks, but last week was REALLY tough on my body with some nasty bladder/kidney symptoms and pain. I had gone to the doctor and I’m clear of any UTI or stones, the thought is that I was having a major detox. Thankfully those symptoms are ebbing away, and I am looking forward to (hopefully, fingers crossed, knock on wood, salt over shoulder…) some better days ahead.
So tomorrow I will face the inevitable question “How was your weekend?”
Answer: I actually got out to see a movie with a friend! Woot woot!

How do you feel when others ask you about your week/weekend? Does it depress you? Do the flood gates open? Or is it just no big deal?

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I don’t want attention

What is your default when you don’t feel well? Some people want attention, some people want to be comforted, some people want to pretend that they are better than they really are. Me? I usually just want to be left alone.
No offense to the dear people I love so much in my life, but it is really hard when you don’t feel well, you look gross and have limited energy to be around others.
For me I think there are two things that being ill long-term has fed in the way of insecurities; although I am a lot better than I used to be, but I still struggle with a negative body image. So when I put on a lot of weight and/or a lot of water weight (gee thanks GI issues and chronic edema) I feel really gross about myself and I don’t want anyone to see me. Also I am an introvert. INFJ/INTJ so it is easy for me to regress into my “cocoon.”

Okay for everyone out there that thinks being introverted means I don’t like people or am antisocial that’s not true! It means that I greatly value time with a few people vs a hoard, or one on one. There is nothing so wonderful as having a great conversation with one friend or a couple of good friends.
but when you don’t feel good, and or don’t look good, putting out social energy is tough.
So in these last several weeks with this little health setback I have been thinking that I have been isolating again. So I’m just putting those thoughts out there for today. Is this true for any other sickies out there?

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Have your Psychiatrist Shake Hands With Your Gastroenterologist…huh?

This article is a very interesting read about the connection between your digestive health and psychiatric disorders. Are they all related? Well no of course not, but it is interesting. After all, those reading this with autoimmune disorders that involve gut troubles know when you are having trouble, um, you know….moving, your head gets really foggy and you can’t think straight and every other symptom you have is greatly exacerbated.
Link to ABC News Gut To Brain Article

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