End Of Another Year

I am trying to decide the feel and flavor of what to write. I am writing this now on my phone in a sun-filled medical facility with an IV in my right arm.Being that it is the day before the last day of the year I suppose sort of an overview of this year might be good, including praises and difficulties and dusty moldy dreams for he future.

Job and Income.

This last year of 2015 has been an equal mix of blessing and difficulty with being able to go part-time in January at my last job. It was a huge blessing because physically I just couldn’t take the schedule anymore and it felt like being caught in a riptide with constantly expelling energy with no rest. My social life suffered greatly in the last decade with me putting 100% of myself into just working and getting by and having nothing left for anything or anyone. This just wasn’t living.

So I have been immensely blessed to have had a year of restored balance, one that had become foreign to me. However along with that my financial situation deteriorated and I have gotten into a difficult place.

    Interestingly enough losing my job in November was also a huge blessing because of things go on in my work situation that added a lot of stress. Also the super early mornings were draining.  I can’t quite put it into words, but I feel like this event kick started me into another level of faith in God and being stripped of income brought me to a place where I felt “naked” before God, sort of pure, where it was just me and Him and it was something beautiful. He also used others to help me through this time financially as well and I haven’t been without despite the fact that I have had no paycheck since November.  

I am also awestruck how He brought me another job with a kind caring employer, the exact hours I need and a good environment. He aligned everything and all I had to do was trust.  The only thing is I am going from a year of financial difficulty into a new year that will be more meager as I am making significantly less hourly than I was at my last job. I don’t know how I will make it but I guess we never do.  Sometimes I just want to tell God “I have enough faith! No more please. Just stop with the faith already!” 😒

Health. 

Also this year saw some huge ups and downs health-wise; I started the year not doing well and being brought down with a viral co-infection in my heart. I reached some really good points earlier in the year and was feeling pretty good, But then along came progesterone that put me (literally) on the floor with fatigue and I felt like I regressed a couple years with my health. Climbing back out of that took months, thankfully just in time for Disneyland (more on that in a minute). After the trip I dipped again for a bit starting a new biofilm protocol and mycoplasma blasters.

The last couple weeks I am feeling myself climb out again and I am really believing that I will be having some pretty fantastic days ahead. Anyone that knows our family knows medical expenses have been insane with all four of us in treatment. It has been about 300,000 so far, and monthly medical costs of prescriptions, supplements and treatments is far above and beyond our incomes. So we pray that this tapers off and God will provide.
Hopes and Dreams.

For some reason it is really hard to even say or type those two words sometimes; hopes and dreams. These last few days have also been terribly difficult emotionally; it is the time of year when you reflect on the fact that it is another year over, and you think about the hopes and dreams of the coming year. It can be very painful to come to this time every year and the hopes and dreams are always the same, forever elusive, dwelling in a seemingly unattainable future.

My dreams are I guess quite pedestrian and simple according to some, but for me they seem as grand as climbing Mount Everest. 

I just read a great blog post about speaking our dreams out loud and acknowledging them, and how scary that can be, but how good it is for your soul. So what are my big dreams? I want to be married and have a family and care for them, have my etsy business, be available to others for ministry, maybe write a book someday. I dream of having enough money and resources to help others with chronic illness get treatment and be ministered to.

Those are my big scary dreams. I guess with every year that goes by my dreams grow more mythic and seem less and less like they belong in the realm of my reality. 

And now folks for the best two words in the English language put in the correct order to instill hope in our hearts; “But God…..”

I have witnessed in my life and the lives of others what God can do unexpectedly and (mostly) when we just stop worrying, start trusting and walk in obedience no matter what.
Blessings.

God did bring a dream to fruition this summer when my sister and I got to go to Disneyland, something we had been talking about for years. It was through the kindness and great generosity of others that it was possible. 

I am also so blessed by the friends that God has brought into my life. More than just acquaintances I have people in my life that walk with me and I with them in genuine love. I was telling my one friend that the people I am closest to in my life have been very easy instantaneous friendships; in that upon meeting each of them for the first time it was like we had known each other always. It is like certain people can just be on your wavelength and you “get them” and they get you. One thing about this is that I have only experienced this within the Body Of Christ; it is beyond just friends but true brothers and sisters. 
So my dear friends this is but only a short glimpse into the last year and I am sure I am forgetting many things. 

But in short God is faithful always, even if it is not how we expect in our limited views. Please join me in prayer over this coming year that I may see more needs met, have more abundant joy, maybe even see fulfillment of some dreams and not be afraid to dream them.

~Jennifer 

  

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Coming Back Out Of The Dark

So the people that saw my Christmas Eve AM post may know that the last several days have been……bad; and not just “bad”, but underscored italiced bad . I had not expected to have a Christmas Eve and Christmas this emotionally miserable since 2012 (talk about bad). But sometimes life hits us unexpectedly, disappoints us, lets us down. Even when you have been doing really well spiritually and God has been providing in the midst of hardship, you can still go down hard. 

The holidays have been disappointing and difficult for so long now I can’t even recall how long it’s been, and every year we say “next year will be different”. But for most things we are still waiting. 

That said, my little bit of devastation was enough and the enemy moved in and attacked with everything he had and I did succumb for a little while. But I have learned from far too much experience how to remove daggers, and thankfully the process grows shorter as the years go on. God is good and He is not leaving me alone in my misery and He is pulling me back out again. I am also blessed to have friends that won’t leave me alone either and speak truth into my life.

Yesterday was better than the day before, and so is today, and to further emerge from darkness I (finally!) will see The Force Awakens with my aunt. 
Let us pray for no sneak attacks on the 31st, which has never been a good day for me 😜

  

Tears In The Wee Hours

It is 4:30am and my alarm is set for 8:30am. This has been happening too much lately and it is taking a bit of a toll.

Today is Christmas Eve and I have to admit the tears are falling right now. I am getting hit with that little stab to the heart that happens every holiday season. I know so many people experience this and especially the chronic illness community.  I am thinking about later today when we will gather with family and I will see my cousins who are married with kids, my uncle and aunt who are grandparents… Everyone else who are where they ought to be for the stage they are at in their lives, and that deep sense of loneliness hits.

I do have to say that this year has been better in that my health is very much on the upswing and God has been immeasurably good in so many ways, I have so much to be thankful for. I have not been dwelling on my lack at all, but the holiday/birthday blues have been hunting me like a ninja and I succumbed to a sneak attack. So even though I need my sleep and have to work today before the Christmas gathering tonight, I find myself crying in the dark over all the things that haven’t happened yet in my life and swallowing that pity pill that says they never will.

I will get over it of course; Because what I am feeling is pain, loneliness, grief and sadness, none of which come from God, and instead really are what the enemy is using to bring me down and rob me of my joy. Haven’t I been able to claim His joy in my trials? Am I now going to forget that fact in this one?

He has shown me how He can meet my needs far beyond what I can ask or think. After all God’s plan of salvation for mankind was in place before the creation of the world, how much more can He mend me right now?

On that note, I hope I can get a little more sleep right now and my eye puffs will be gone by morning.

Merry Christmas 🎄

Christmas Day Update: So I woke up in the dark yesterday and cried myself awake (never did get back to sleep) and I went to bed last night in the dark and cried myself to sleep. For my tears in the evening between these times my sweet dog comforted me and licked the tears off my nose. It’s so dumb because as I am bawling I am repenting of it at the same time because I know my attitude should be joyful. Oh well, maybe next year will be different.

Hope, And A Look Back

12/23/15. Hope,
I wrote the short essay below about 3 years ago. I remember acutely how it feels to be in this place; it is like a living death in some ways… losing yourself.
2012 was one of the worst years of my life even though I finally had a diagnosis of what was wrong with me. It is the year I went through being bedridden during initial treatment, being unemployed and unable to work, unrelated to illness I was devastated that I had been believing something for 7 years that I thought was from God and ended up being false. My faith for the first time in my life faltered and I stopped talking to Daddy.
How much has changed in 3 years. I am however incredibly grateful because I can look at what God has done in my life and how He has changed me (for the better!). He has truly taught me what rejoicing in trials looks like and that I can live the truth that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He has used me in unexpected ways and brought people into my life that I would not have met if it had not been for my illness. Now that is God.
For those who are still in a place of deep suffering my heart reaches out to. I would be happy to be contacted either through this blog or my Facebook page so that I can do my best to encourage you.
So here is what being a little lost girl felt like:

Little Lost Girl
The Other Toll Of An Auto-Immune Disease

At some point I stopped looking in the mirror; of course not quite literally because I need to do my hair and makeup in the morning, but a long time ago I stopped “seeing”. So it was a bit of a shock when one day I actually did see, and I didn’t recognize myself. I look old, I look sick, I look puffy, I look fat, I look frumpy. Gone is the girl I see in photos from several years ago, and not just physically, because that girl had things she enjoyed doing… people she wanted to spend time with…she had an inner passion for the things she loved, and had so many hopes and dreams….

I look in my closet and there are the clothes that I no longer wear, the digital camera that I have never used, the containers of craft materials that I no longer have an interest in….because life used to be not only about today, but about tomorrow too. Now I struggle to get through just one day at a time, just surviving, there is no energy for anything else, and it is more than physical, my brain is tired too. I used to love crosswords, but sometimes it is too hard to recall the words I know that I know, or to spell words that I know are locked somewhere in my toxic mind.  People are too hard to be around, not because I don’t like them, but talking and engaging takes mental energy, and that is easily used up doing my job everyday (thank God He has given me the strength. So when I am quiet and don’t feel like talking, I am more than likely not in a bad mood, and it has nothing to do with you, I am just shut down.

I miss my personality; it is actually hard to recall who I am. I know I used to enjoy so many things, but I am not sure what they all were. I think that I will need to rediscover myself, and see what emerges when the chrysalis of illness falls away.

So, I am writing this not to whine nor for pity, but just to share what chronic illness can do to the core of who you are as a human being. My sister and I talk and share all the time about what we are going through, and how what we are feeling affects us socially and mentally. How each of us wants to tell everyone we see from our friends to people in the grocery store “You don’t understand, this isn’t me, I’m really someone else…”
But thankfully there seems to be hope. Treatment has been rough, and the different medications aren’t fun, but I believe that finally after possibly two decades of having this garbage in my body and not understanding what was wrong with me, there are answers. I have been told by my two doctors and even by friends and acquaintances that next year everything will be different. I want to hope so badly that this will be true, and if it is, I might emerge again, but will I be who I was or a little different? We shall see…

Healing and God’s Will

I wrote this earlier this year in June. I was inspired while out walking and listening to the audio book of The Cost Of Discipleship by Dietrich Boenhoffer. 

For my non-Christian followers this may not feel like it directly applies to where you are in your Lyme journey, but I hope you will still find encouragement.
I have been reflecting, reading and meditating on a few things over the past few days and (hopefully) have some things to share that God is teaching me about some subjects we have hit on including suffering and God’s will.

We are multi-generations in now in our country to a very western (and worldly) mindset regarding our “rights” as human beings; the right to comfort, contentment, worldly pleasures, wealth and prosperity. I think this culture has ingrained itself into our way of thinking in ways we probably do not entirely comprehend. We as Christians are called to a different view, but in the same way the kind of family a person is brought up in effects the way they view the world and their heavenly Father, so to does our culture do that to us in how we approach interpreting all things having to do with God. I think because of this it is easy to come at scripture with a “here and now” mindset, especially when it comes to what we expect from God. 
  

   I have especially been going deep into how this effects the way we view God’s will and what we are to expect in this life with our walk with Jesus. In the gospel Jesus said :

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword”. Matt 10:34. 

 “Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; Luke 12:51 

New Covenant verses on suffering below* Jesus in His ministry on earth did heal, but this was in accordance with the revelation of His glory and revealing Himself as the Son of God. All of Jesus miracles were much more about the glory of God than they were about the comfort of the healed. Even with Lazarus Jesus says of his sickness “This sickness is not end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son Of God may be revealed”. In these verses we are told the point and purpose of healing in these earthen vessels are for the purpose and glory of God. This is not only true in the time of Jesus but is still true today. That being said, Jesus was also very clear that entering into a relationship with Him is to take a walk into death…to deny ourselves, to take up our cross and follow Him. We enter into death and new life along with Jesus and we are called into the privilege to suffer as Jesus suffered. But nowhere in Scripture does Jesus tell us we will be free from pain and suffering and sickness in this life, quite the opposite. Which is why the New Testament is full of passages on sufferings, trials, enduring, and bearing all things … in joy. 
    Going back to God’s will; taking into account all of the above, we are to pray for healing and told to pray for the sick and He can and does heal, and in those times He miraculously heals we can trust that He is brought the most glory in that situation. For ourselves we have renewed faith, we give testimony to the unsaved and Jesus is revealed that He is still the ultimate Healer. I am a firm believer in the possibility of miracles. But if we err on the side of believing that healing and wholeness (in the strictly physical sense) is always God’s will we can then fall prey to spending our lives in disappointment, doubt, indecision, unfulfilled and lacking joy….which we are told we have in Christ in the midst of suffering. I think also if we believe that healing is always God’s will this aligns our minds not with Christ but instead with a world system that would tell us we are entitled to our own personal comforts and our selfish needs being met in this life. As it was brought up in last week’s discussion we have the promise of perfect and glorified bodies but not in this life. God’s will in every situation is unclear most of the time as to the particulars because we are not God and we have no foreknowledge of which outcome will bring Him the most glory and us the most good. 

   Going into Scripture of how we are told to pray we have the example from Jesus Himself “Thy kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven”. But what does that mean? What God has been laying on my heart that coming at a passage like this we can err in bringing along our western mindset and include ourselves in the equation; that in heaven there is no death or pain or suffering so that must mean we are entitled to that on earth. I believe that this is completely out of context the same way that 1Peter 2:24 is used out of context for faith healing when that verse has nothing to do with our physical bodies, in that this passage is not about us but rather about the Lord being glorified as He is in heaven. 

   Another danger zone I think we are more prey to falling into with believing God’s will is about comfort and healing on this earth is that this view can come dangerously close to aligning itself with universal spiritualism and a new-age “christianity” that is in our midst and growing, that focuses on world peace, love, healing and prosperity. This may be a stretch, but the spirit of anti- (in opposition to) Christ is alive and well today, and this spirit of false Christ will/does look good. It is the spirit of love without judgement, God in all things, acceptance without repentance…It is a spirit of the here and now instead of the glory that is to come and it is all about us and our happiness instead of Christ glorified. (Thank you Marcie for the reminder of the dangers of the antichrist, you rock). And going back to the words of Jesus that He came to bring division, that we will suffer for Christ, and that this life will not be free from pain and tribulation…we need to be steadfast and alert and stay in His Word not to fall prey the the false Jesus’s that will promise health and wholeness, peace and prosperity. 
I think there is great power in this! In knowing that we have the power of Christ in us to overcome all sickness and tribulation in knowing we have something far more valuable, that joy in suffering is ours to claim as part of our inheritence in Christ, a part of what we can have while in earthen vessels. There is so much richness here to be learned and explored. And of course as always there is great joy and power when Jesus does choose to miraculously heal, He still does and still will. The treasure is in knowing that there is a miracle in the healing and an equal and no lesser miracle in the overcoming. For we are first and foremost overcomers in Christ. 
To God be the glory forever and ever amen. 

      
* Romans 5:3-5 
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

James 1:2-4 
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Romans 8:18 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
1 Peter 4:12-19

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. … 
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies  

Finding Peace In Redemption

Finding peace in Redemption
I thought that at this time of year as we celebrate the birth of our Redeemer, it might be a good time to write a little about a spiritual truth that has been close to my heart the last several years; redemption. 

We know Jesus is our Redeemer, the Savior of our souls, but there are great depths to the redemption that we have in Him every day of our lives. This is why we can find comfort, hope, faith and peace in pain and trial.
Redeem. Verb.

To buy or pay off

To buy back

To recover

To exchange

To convert

To discharge or fulfill

To make up for; make amends for

To obtain be release or restoration of
It was striking me today how we put our faith in Christ for the redemption of our eternal souls, and yet it is still hard to trust Him in our daily difficulties and the problems we face in life. 

With God redemption is unique in that He knows all and has always known all. Before the foundation of the world He had our plan of redemption in place. While we were in darkness, while we were lost without any foresight on our own, He redeemed.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”‭‭ Romans‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭



“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will,”.                          Ephesians‬ ‭1:4-5‬
Isn’t it somewhat the same when we find ourselves in bad situations in life? We have no foresight as to what to do, or whether the trial will end, or what the purpose of our suffering is, or how to better our situation. 

But our greatest comfort can be found if we understand that everything is now under the covering of His redemption. 
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”        Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”.                          James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭

One of the hardest things in our walk is to be joyful in trials. I used to think that this verse was about just putting on a good attitude because God is good. But it is so much more than that. Firstly we can consider it all joy because we know that God is working to purify and refine our inner man, and He is much more concerned with who we are becoming in Him than earthly wealth or comfort. But also (and this is where we have to get out of our own headspace) He is working on and in everyone around you as well, and may be using you to do it. 
“who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ”.‭‭.                                                2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:4-5‬ ‭

How much more are you touched by the testimony of someone who has gone through, or is in the midst of suffering who holds steadfast to their faith, than that of someone who seems to float with ease through life? God uses people mightily who He has called to go through trials. 
Back to the promise of redemption; I am going back to the promise we have that ALL things work together for the good of those who are in Christ. This is huge! And it doesn’t mean menial gains and comforts. It means that everything that you do…before and after knowing Him, every mess up, every disaster, every hardship, pain, trial, mistake, crisis and suffering has the absolute promise of being redeemed for a greater glory. Wow. 

This promise has great comfort for those that have been suffering long-term with illness and trials, myself included. 
Up until about a year and a half ago I had been holding onto a lot of grief and loss; loss of my youth, loss of all the things in life I have not done and not had the opportunity to do, loss of so many years of my life that felt wasted by illness and apathy. Even though God had taught me so much, refined me and built me over the years, I was still grieving. Until He showed me that every day I spent looking backwards and mourning was another day I gave over to it. 

Also by focusing on loss I was not giving God my full surrender and recognizing His plan for redemption in my life over everything that I felt was a “waste”. Because there is no waste in the kingdom of God.
The things we have been through and experienced are unique to us, and no one can have our ministry and our story. Redeeming what we have been through is not a possibility or a probability, it is an absolute promise and is ours to own with dogged tenacity. 

It may be hard if you are still in the midst of suffering and can see no end. But it is comforting that even if you are lying in bed and in pain and don’t know when it will end, you do know that God without question has something in it for you and for others.
This is true:

What we have in Christ is a promise in every problem.

A blessing in every difficulty.

Hope in every trial.

These aren’t maybes, they are absolutes.

Sometimes we just need a little paradigm shift and as one of my favorite teachers Graham Cooke says “if we aren’t seeing things the right way we need a lens change”. 
Nothing is ever wasted, ever. 

  

Finding Peace In Redemption

Finding peace in Redemption
I thought that at this time of year as we celebrate the birth of our Redeemer, it might be a good time to write a little about a spiritual truth that has been close to my heart the last several years; redemption. 

We know Jesus is our Redeemer, the Savior of our souls, but there are great depths to the redemption that we have in Him every day of our lives. This is why we can find comfort, hope, faith and peace in pain and trial.
Redeem. Verb.

To buy or pay off

To buy back

To recover

To exchange

To convert

To discharge or fulfill

To make up for; make amends for

To obtain be release or restoration of
It was striking me today how we put our faith in Christ for the redemption of our eternal souls, and yet it is still hard to trust Him in our daily difficulties and the problems we face in life. 

With God redemption is unique in that He knows all and has always known all. Before the foundation of the world He had our plan of redemption in place. While we were in darkness, while we were lost without any foresight on our own, He redeemed.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭
“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will,”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:4-5‬
Isn’t it somewhat the same when we find ourselves in bad situations in life? We have no foresight as to what to do, or whether the trial will end, or what the purpose of our suffering is, or how to better our situation. 

But our greatest comfort can be found if we understand that everything is now under the covering of His redemption. 
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭
One of the hardest things in our walk is to be joyful in trials. I used to think that this verse was about just putting on a good attitude because God is good. But it is so much more than that. Firstly we can consider it all joy because we know that God is working to purify and refine our inner man, and He is much more concerned with who we are becoming in Him than earthly wealth or comfort. But also (and this is where we have to get out of our own headspace) He is working on and in everyone around you as well, and may be using you to do it. 
“who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:4-5‬ ‭
How much more are you touched by the testimony of someone who has gone through, or is in the midst of suffering who holds steadfast to their faith, than that of someone who seems to float with ease through life? God uses people mightily who He has called to go through trials. 
Back to the promise of redemption; I am going back to the promise we have that ALL things work together for the good of those who are in Christ. This is huge! And it doesn’t mean menial gains and comforts. It means that everything that you do…before and after knowing Him, every mess up, every disaster, every hardship, pain, trial, mistake, crisis and suffering has the absolute promise of being redeemed for a greater glory. Wow. 

This promise has great comfort for those that have been suffering long-term with illness and trials, myself included. 
Up until about a year and a half ago I had been holding onto a lot of grief and loss; loss of my youth, loss of all the things in life I have not done and not had the opportunity to do, loss of so many years of my life that felt wasted by illness and apathy. Even though God had taught me so much, refined me and built me over the years, I was still grieving. Until He showed me that every day I spent looking backwards and mourning was another day I gave over to it. 

Also by focusing on loss I was not giving God my full surrender and recognizing His plan for redemption in my life over everything that I felt was a “waste”. Because there is no waste in the kingdom of God.
The things we have been through and experienced are unique to us, and no one can have our ministry and our story. Redeeming what we have been through is not a possibility or a probability, it is an absolute promise and is ours to own with dogged tenacity. 

It may be hard if you are still in the midst of suffering and can see no end. But it is comforting that even if you are lying in bed and in pain and don’t know when it will end, you do know that God without question has something in it for you and for others.
This is true:

What we have in Christ is a promise in every problem.

A blessing in every difficulty.

Hope in every trial.

These aren’t maybes, they are absolutes.

Sometimes we just need a little paradigm shift and as one of my favorite teachers Graham Cooke says “if we aren’t seeing things the right way we need a lens change”. 
Nothing is ever wasted, ever.