The burden of responsibility, knowing your limits, and Jehovah Jireh.
I am reflecting today, the day after Thanksgiving, about the interesting place I am in right now; I know from talking to others that my situation is not unique…. I have physical limitations but am not incapacitated. I have days where it is hard to get the energy to function, but I also have days where I can feel (almost) normal. The crux is is the unpredictability, but also in knowing that for most active days you will have a pay day (or days) that you need to make up for it.
Over the years God has helped me through accepting being able to take one day at a time and extend grace to myself and not feel guilt over laziness. Because I do, I often feel that I am lazy. The only times I realize this isn’t truly who I am are on the days when I have more than normal energy and I do stuff like clean the whole house….joyfully!
This past week has been very interesting with losing my job, but also one of peace in that I am having to let go of the burden of my own provision and being forced to rely wholly on Jehovah Jireh, the Lord my Provider. It is of course a choice; I could choose to panic and worry. But God has somehow extended to me faith that has been building over the years, being strengthened with trials. Not that I am so strong and faithful, I’m not, surrendering is where the peace is found.
So I am choosing to spend my extra time just taking care of my health and enriching my spirit, seeking my next steps and seeing what Papa does…