Do you know what I hate more than the fatigue, more than the body pain, more than the fluid retention, more than just feeling icky all the time? I hate the feeling of being spacey, especially in social situations. That feeling of almost alternate reality, that you’re not quite there. What stinks the most is that sometimes you are very aware of it; that you’re slow to respond, that you mumble your words, that your answers don’t always match the question. 

I also get really sensitive about what people must think. Do they wonder if I am being entitled? Being bitchy? Being unfriendly? Being antisocial? Being horribly shy? Being uninterested? Whatever is going on, I just hate that feeling of disconnect.

Do you know what I hate more than all of the above? It is that for several months I was doing a lot better. I had for the most part for some time been feeling a lot more normal with my cognitive symptoms. But just the last couple months I have been feeling a lot worse again and things are more difficult as far as thinking and communicating. 

And the fatigue, the fatigue. I am sure this downturn is due to several reasons that I’ve mentioned in past blogs, and probably reasons I don’t understand currently. I am sure this is also going to be short-lived ( I hope). But for now all I want to do is to get back to that feeling of being able to laugh and talk and enjoy friends and not feel that sinking in my bones and muscles, and that fuzzy cotton weight in my brain
*image of Nemo just because 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Spaced, My Current Frontier

    • Lol, I hadn’t thought of that for Nemo but that’s true too 🙂
      Right now I am on a new treatment protocol with my ND that includes addressing inflammation, gut healing, breaking biofilm and mycoplasma, balancing hormones, and stuff.
      I am not in full blown protocol yet as some of my supplements are on order. I hope I can adjust to this, it’s really hard taking steps forward and then falling back again.
      But ’tis the nature of this thing. Thank you for your well wishes.

      • Sounds like you’re doing some really good HEALING stuff for yourself – that is awesome! I am happy for you that you are open to doing some different protocols and you’re changing it up! Just keep swimming! 🙂

  1. We are absolutely in the same boat, my friend! I was improving and in August my LLMD wanted Mr to take a break from abx after 2.5 years. I was doing ok until I caught a cold on September 9, yes, I know the date, and since, it has been all downhill. Right now the fatigue and nausea are my worst symptoms. I haven’t had this kind of fatigue in about a year. Wishing you energy soon!

  2. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. I had Lyme, along with Mold Illness and mono for 3 years. Relapses were the worst. I’m currently in remission, but I’ve learned that I take my remission as a one day at a time gift. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. The suffering feels eternal, but it does pass. I wish you wellness and a sense of peace as you walk this journey.

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