last night I took my first dose of progesterone; as my doctors are starting to focus on treating the screwed up hormones side of this autoimmune madness. You are supposed to take it at night because it can make you tired, so I thought “yay it will help me sleep”. Alas it did not aid my insomnia but instead left me feeling tired and heavy throughout the first half of the day. Gravity was pulling down so hard not even matcha green tea, an energy drink and 3 shots of coffee helped much. (Yes I am supposed to avoid coffee and have done so successfully for quite a while, but when you’re desperate….) But I was alert enough to pace through at work, and goodness knows I am used to working fatigued.
Unfortunately what did give me a jolt in the very early afternoon was pure adrenaline, source: verbal abuse. Being reamed and sworn at by someone for something that is not your fault simply because they are having a bad day, and because they have a longstanding pattern of lashing out in anger, bad language, blaming others when things go wrong (whether it is anyone’s fault or not), not listening to explanations (and really not caring to hear truth anyway)…..defaulting to being cruel, condescending, demeaning and sarcastic….( I could go on). Sad the men out there that put down and belittle women in particular, I will say it is not pleasant. What stinks is this causes me real physical harm with my pulse rate, my cortisol, my headaches, my GI issues and my emotional well being.
Sigh. I prayed through being a targeted victim of said person’s rage because I was the closest target, and instead dwelt on the truth……I am stronger. The Lord is on my side and I wear spiritual armor, none can touch me.
I have been focusing on victory and overcoming lately; in my writing, devotions and prayer life. When the office emptied for lunch I put warfare into action and I took authority over said person’s office space by praising the Lord and claiming His dominion and authority over the physical space and spiritual realm. All is the Lord’s territory. I also put on praise music. It was a great spiritual cleansing both for myself and the space. Evil has no place where the Lord is praised.
I have a better peace tonight then I did earlier, but it is still hard to quickly heal mental and emotional wounds. Of course I need to recognize that we battle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities and spiritual forces. And the enemy does use evil selfish people to attack the Lord’s anointed. I am giving this one to the Lord and asking Him to do the fighting for me and take care of me going forward.
He is my covering as I continue to regain my health and discover where His path leads next.
So my insomnia fatigue and swelling are up right now and GI stuff has been worse the last week, but spiritually I am gaining in the healing game.