The Recipient Of The “No Reply”

Just some musings for today and food for thought.

It’s the feeling you get staring at your IM messenger and seeing that your message has been read by the recipient, but no reply.
It is the feeling of looking at your phone and seeing that you sent that text…..days ago, but no reply.
It is checking your e-mail inbox and wondering if that e-mail you sent per chance went into their spam folder, or into a digital vacuum, or if (gasp) maybe they are injured on the side of the road having flipped their car because they were illegally trying to answer your e-mail while driving and now they are in desperate need of medical care with their phone just out of reach of their fractured fingers….But the result is the same; no reply.

Yes communication has changed and we now live in a digital age. This is a wondrous thing in that we can communicate with each other like never before, anytime, anywhere. For some this is AMAZING because we see too little of people in person and we are hungry for fellowship with friends. For some I know this can also be an annoyance in that we become slaves to our devices. No matter how you feel about digital communication I want to set that aside for a moment and have you consider the thoughts and feelings of the recipient of the “no reply” (please note I am not talking about those that get back to you hours or a day or two later, I know we are busy).

The things that the No Replyee might be thinking or feeling

1. I don’t matter to you.
2. I annoy you
3. You don’t like me
4. I am very low on the list of people in your life
5. I think you are a rude person who is giving me the equivalent of the silent treatment
6. I have offended you
7. You just forgot
8. I am a stupid/annoying/unimportant/obnoxious/ugly/wasteofspace person and no wonder people ignore me and I should just shut up and not contact people because it puts them in the awkward position of just “try and ignore her and maybe she’ll go away”.

    So, for those who never answer I really do spend a lot of time pondering what is going on in your head; when you see a message in whatever form it came in (especially if it is personally addressed to you) and decide to never reply. No really! I am curious because with dead air I can only guess at what is going on with you, and I’m sorry but with my history of where the enemy likes to attack me I am usually going to default to #8. So this is me really and honestly asking the question to those of you on Facebook who I can see have read my IM…..months ago and never replied, and to those who have received texts and never replied, let me know! I have a lot of grace and I am ALWAYS totally cool with “hey sorry, I don’t have time” or if it’s a question just a quick “no”. You aren’t going to hurt my feelings, but please explain the dead air which for the No Replyee is the equivalent of standing in front of you talking and you just staring back not saying a word. It would seem rude right?

Also please have grace for us, the digital communicators. Especially the vast community of us who have endured isolation due to illness and or distance and being able to communicate with our friends digitally is a beam of light in our world.

So. Am I sending this out into the void? Or by chance will a few reply……

beingignored

A tough day

last night I took my first dose of progesterone;  as my doctors are starting to focus on treating the screwed up hormones side of this autoimmune madness. You are supposed to take it at night because it can make you tired, so I thought “yay it will help me sleep”. Alas it did not aid my insomnia but instead left me feeling tired and heavy throughout the first half of the day. Gravity was pulling down so hard not even matcha green tea, an energy drink and 3 shots of coffee helped much. (Yes I am supposed to avoid coffee and have done so successfully for quite a while, but when you’re desperate….) But I was alert enough to pace through at work, and goodness knows I am used to working fatigued.

  Unfortunately what did give me a jolt in the very early afternoon was pure adrenaline, source: verbal abuse. Being reamed and sworn at by someone for something that is not your fault simply because they are having a bad day, and because they have a longstanding pattern of lashing out in anger, bad language, blaming others when things go wrong (whether it is anyone’s fault or not), not listening to explanations (and really not caring to hear truth anyway)…..defaulting to being cruel, condescending, demeaning and sarcastic….( I could go on). Sad the men out there that put down and belittle women in particular, I will say it is not pleasant. What stinks is this causes me real physical harm with my pulse rate, my cortisol, my headaches, my GI issues and my emotional well being.

Sigh. I prayed through being a targeted victim of said person’s rage because I was the closest target, and instead dwelt on the truth……I am stronger. The Lord is on my side and I wear spiritual armor, none can touch me. 

I have been focusing on victory and overcoming lately; in my writing, devotions and prayer life. When the office emptied for lunch I put warfare into action and I took authority over said person’s office space by praising the Lord and claiming His dominion and authority over the physical space and spiritual realm. All is the Lord’s territory. I also put on praise music. It was a great spiritual cleansing both for myself and the space. Evil has no place where the Lord is praised.

I have a better peace tonight then I did earlier, but it is still hard to quickly heal mental and emotional wounds. Of course I need to recognize that we battle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities and spiritual forces. And the enemy does use evil selfish people to attack the Lord’s anointed. I am giving this one to the Lord and asking Him to do the fighting for me and take care of me going forward. 

He is my covering as I continue to regain my health and discover where His path leads next.

So my insomnia fatigue and swelling are up right now and GI stuff has been worse the last week, but spiritually I am gaining in the healing game.