Today is a day that’s feels like I have traveled back in time and that maybe the last few months of progress have been lost. Today feels like it could maybe be March of this year, with spring showers and blossoms blooming, or it could have even been a day in mid July as I was going through die off after my most recent treatment. What today doesn’t feel like is what life has been like for the last 6-8 weeks which has been….better. Gone today is the increased energy, the mental clarity, the decreased body pain and inflammation.
But today I recognize the very familiar symptoms of die off because I’ve been here before.
You see I had my 3 month check with my Lyme doctor in Idaho on the 13th and he found a newly discovered Lyme Virus C which was still causing havoc in my liver, so he treated it. The first couple days after weren’t too bad but as this week progressed I digressed.
At least I know that my body is upset again for a good reason and this will be short lived (hopefully). But right now it is miserable and when the mind and body are down the easiest place to go is depression and worry.
What is great is that I have learned (took me long enough) that there is no reason to worry or feel blue, but just embrace where I am and ride it out.
This morning I made it through some mini panic attacks (that seem to happen on occasion with die off) by praying through it on the bathroom floor as a felt my body’s red light flashing and inner alarms going off. Thankfully it did pass after a couple hours and I know I am never alone in these moments but can continue to look forward with hope.
I am expecting to give better reports again in the weeks to come.