keeping Monica in my prayers

Monica's Lyme Disease Diary

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Hello Everyone!

I’m sorry for this very long over-due post.  Updates are happening more frequently on my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/helpingmonica) right now as my dear friend, Erin Kissling has been posting updates and pictures on there to keep everyone informed.  This post is going to be rather quick as my strength & energy can disappear almost instantly right now.  This is the first time in almost 3 weeks that I’ve even felt somewhat able to sit up and type and I can already feel it exhausting me greatly.

A little over 3 weeks ago I had completed 2 months of medications for my gut infection and that seemed to be clearing up and I was SLOWLY regaining strength and had worked up to biking several miles at a casual/easy pace.  I was starting to feel SO much better and really thought I was on the upward swing with the infection…

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A Setback Isn’t Forever

Today is a day that’s feels like I have traveled back in time and that maybe the last few months of progress have been lost. Today feels like it could maybe be March of this year, with spring showers and blossoms blooming, or it could have even been a day in mid July as I was going through die off after my most recent treatment. What today doesn’t feel like is what life has been like for the last 6-8 weeks which has been….better. Gone today is the increased energy, the mental clarity, the decreased body pain and inflammation.
But today I recognize the very familiar symptoms of die off because I’ve been here before.
You see I had my 3 month check with my Lyme doctor in Idaho on the 13th and he found a newly discovered Lyme Virus C which was still causing havoc in my liver, so he treated it. The first couple days after weren’t too bad but as this week progressed I digressed.
At least I know that my body is upset again for a good reason and this will be short lived (hopefully). But right now it is miserable and when the mind and body are down the easiest place to go is depression and worry.
What is great is that I have learned (took me long enough) that there is no reason to worry or feel blue, but just embrace where I am and ride it out.

This morning I made it through some mini panic attacks (that seem to happen on occasion with die off) by praying through it on the bathroom floor as a felt my body’s red light flashing and inner alarms going off. Thankfully it did pass after a couple hours and I know I am never alone in these moments but can continue to look forward with hope.
I am expecting to give better reports again in the weeks to come.


Chronic Lyme Sufferers Ask “Should I Get The Flu Vaccine?”

I personally do not believe in most vaccines mostly because of what is in them, but also the fact that if you are immuno- compromised taking another “hit” from a vaccine really is harder on your body even than getting sick. I have some experience with this with the Hep B vaccine. A couple years ago I needed to get Hep B vaccinated for a job, Dr Ross LLMD recommended that it would be best if I didn’t but he understood if I didn’t have a choice. Well I went ahead and got the first in the series and it made all my symptoms so much worse I really couldn’t work anyway.

Here is Dr Ross’ article on why he wouldn’t recommend vaccinating:



The Road Goes Ever On And On

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet. ~LOTR, JRR Tolkien

I love this little song from the Lord Of The Rings, a Hobbit walking song. I sometimes think the opening words in my head when I am out walking or biking. I am immensely blessed that I have been able to bike more again these last few weeks after such a long absence. I am now 3 months post treatment for Lyme and coinfections and I am definitely feeling some huge improvements…. still some battles to be won, but big steps.

I have been speculating that the road I am on in this life has continued to be the same one whether I crawl or ride. Even before I started seeing any improvements in my health God has been giving me a deeper and deeper peace with where I am in life and the path I am on. I have become very grateful for the decades of trials that have shaped me and matured me in ways that would not have been possible without difficulty. What I am excited to see now is how God uses everything He has taught me, the knowledge He has given me and the deep empathy I have learned for those who suffer. I also know the years I have left in my life will be filled with a deep appreciation I would not have otherwise. I will enjoy every minute of health that will be given me and have the blessing of not taking anything for granted.

So the road does go ever one and on, some days I still crawl but some days I now ride fast, and someday I will fly.

path to God's greatest blessing