So painful, and so true. Even though just literally in the last couple months I have started to get my head above water, to have more energy, to not feel like I am in a complete fog all the time….My body and I are still at war. I still struggle with energy, still struggle with terrible swelling and water retention, still digestive problems, and PAIN. But there is a small light. Now the hard part is feeling like a person who has awakened from a coma and has lost years of their life that they cannot get back. As my peers are mostly married, and even having their second babies, here I am 34 and single, and if I may be so bold…never even been on a date. There is a piece of my life that should be there that isn’t, years that should have been lived and were simply lost. Where do I go from here as I look at complete wellness still being somewhere in the future; and not this year, maybe not even next year? I live day to day, because today I can manage. Today I can pull through. Today I can give 100% to my job and leave nothing for myself. That is today, because tomorrow has been elusive for as long as I can remember.
I’ve been a bit silent in my blogging lately. I intend to give an update in a bit, but first I want to share something I found today that I thought was written quite well. On the blog, Hope For the Journey, Kimberly Rae shares a list of things she wishes healthy people knew. Looking over the list I found I agreed with many of the things she said, and so I was inspired to write my own. I’ve borrowed a few of hers and added a few of my own:
1.How hard it is for me to make plans. My condition fluctuates daily; I have no idea how I’ll be feeling next week or even tomorrow. I can plan on going to Bible study all week long, but when the day comes–or just an hour before–I may suddenly be even more ill and be unable to make…
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