A Lyme Bloggers Lament

So poignant and true. This is the feeling of anyone (may I say especially the young?) suffering from a chronic illness.

My thoughts: (on the link at the bottom)

So painful, and so true. Even though just literally in the last couple months I have started to get my head above water, to have more energy, to not feel like I am in a complete fog all the time….My body and I are still at war. I still struggle with energy, still struggle with terrible swelling and water retention, still digestive problems, and PAIN. But there is a small light. Now the hard part is feeling like a person who has awakened from a coma and has lost years of their life that they cannot get back. As my peers are mostly married, and even having their second babies, here I am 34 and single, and if I may be so bold, never even been on a date.

There is a piece of my life that should be there that isn’t, years that should have been lived and were simply lost. Where do I go from here as I look at complete wellness still being somewhere in the future…and it won’t be this year, maybe not even next year. I live day to day, because today I can manage, today I can pull through. Today I can give 100% to my job and leave nothing for myself. That is today, because tomorrow has been elusive for as long as I can remember.

Thank you Lymelight for sharing this: http://lymelightfight.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/what-i-wish-healthy-people-knew/

 

What I Wish Healthy People Knew

So painful, and so true. Even though just literally in the last couple months I have started to get my head above water, to have more energy, to not feel like I am in a complete fog all the time….My body and I are still at war. I still struggle with energy, still struggle with terrible swelling and water retention, still digestive problems, and PAIN. But there is a small light. Now the hard part is feeling like a person who has awakened from a coma and has lost years of their life that they cannot get back. As my peers are mostly married, and even having their second babies, here I am 34 and single, and if I may be so bold…never even been on a date. There is a piece of my life that should be there that isn’t, years that should have been lived and were simply lost. Where do I go from here as I look at complete wellness still being somewhere in the future; and not this year, maybe not even next year? I live day to day, because today I can manage. Today I can pull through. Today I can give 100% to my job and leave nothing for myself. That is today, because tomorrow has been elusive for as long as I can remember.

LymeLight

I’ve been a bit silent in my blogging lately.  I intend to give an update in a bit, but first I want to share something I found today that I thought was written quite well.  On the blog, Hope For the Journey, Kimberly Rae shares a list of things she wishes healthy people knew.  Looking over the list I found I agreed with many of the things she said, and so I was inspired to write my own.  I’ve borrowed a few of hers and added a few of my own:

1.How hard it is for me to make plans.  My condition fluctuates daily; I have no idea how I’ll be feeling next week or even tomorrow.  I can plan on going to Bible study all week long, but when the day comes–or just an hour before–I may suddenly be even more ill and be unable to make…

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“Pay Day”

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I am pleased to report that I had a pretty decent weekend. As a follow up to my car accident I did end up getting a new car on Friday, well new to me because it was a used 2008. Got a decent deal, and it has low mileage. I am feeling a little disappointed about having to take out another car loan, but such is life.

Besides that I was able to get on my bike a bit this weekend; besides just exercise biking gives me such a sense of freedom and joy, something I would never get from exercising indoors. Biking is perfect because you can adjust according to how you are feeling, and if you need to just coast a bit that is fine. But today is Pay Day. Pay Day is the day when your body bites back for having a few days of feeling better, and actually getting out and moving a bit. I woke up with a raging headache, the kind that throbs at the back of your neck if you move even a little. I did a sauna treatment last night on top of being out part of the day, so I am hoping I didn’t get dehydrated. Also my swelling has gone WAY up, my face looks like a little chipmunk, so I am thinking I probably have toxins dumping into my blood from my muscles, and probably an exercise induced Herx.

Ah well, I am trending towards having increased better days sprinkled here and there, and (at least for now) I am always going to pay for them. Someday I hope that will change…

So What DO You Eat? Final Entry

Final Entry of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

So I am not going to continue food blogging here, that has been a little temporary sidetrack.

Here is my daily addiction, and one I keep trying to quit. Everyday breakfast: Almond Butter.

Even though I am nut-free almonds are permissible, the problem is I eat a little bowl of homemade almond butter every morning. I want to vary my diet, but when I wake up in the morning my body is screaming for it. Problem is some almonds are fine, but in excess they are high in omega 6, which can cause inflammation… Got to beat this addiction someday.

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So What DO You Eat? Entry #5

Entry #5 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

Lettuce wraps

Romaine Lettuce, Organic Turkey, Broccoli Slaw, Fermented Carrots, Mustard, Homemade Guacamole, Cilantro, Green Onion

Thank you “New Hope Beyond Lyme” for the inspiration

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Car Accident

Hello my Lymie friends, as if there wasn’t enough going on with the whole chronic illness thing, I think I just totaled my car;
On this beautiful day I had been to Seattle for my colonic and a full lymphatic drainage treatment…ran a few errands, was a mile from my house on a suburban street when I started sneezing, reached for a napkin in my console and suddenly boom! Apparently I hadn’t realized I had drifted a little onto the shoulder…and hit a parked truck 😦 I am pretty upset at myself, other than my thumb I think I am pretty ok. I am now more worried about money and new transportation. Sigh, the drama continues…

My baby a few days ago…

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So What DO You Eat? Entry #4

Entry #4 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

Friday Night Dinner: Sushi Salad

All ingredients from Whole Foods

Disassembled Rainbow Roll (ever trace of rice removed,) Ahi Tuna, Salmon, Nori, Cucumber, Avocado

Kale, Lemon, Bragg’s, Chimichurri, cooked celery & broccoli, pickled ginger, onion

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This one isn’t agreeing with me too well, feeling a lot of swelling and water retention.