A Lyme Bloggers Lament

So poignant and true. This is the feeling of anyone (may I say especially the young?) suffering from a chronic illness.

My thoughts: (on the link at the bottom)

So painful, and so true. Even though just literally in the last couple months I have started to get my head above water, to have more energy, to not feel like I am in a complete fog all the time….My body and I are still at war. I still struggle with energy, still struggle with terrible swelling and water retention, still digestive problems, and PAIN. But there is a small light. Now the hard part is feeling like a person who has awakened from a coma and has lost years of their life that they cannot get back. As my peers are mostly married, and even having their second babies, here I am 34 and single, and if I may be so bold, never even been on a date.

There is a piece of my life that should be there that isn’t, years that should have been lived and were simply lost. Where do I go from here as I look at complete wellness still being somewhere in the future…and it won’t be this year, maybe not even next year. I live day to day, because today I can manage, today I can pull through. Today I can give 100% to my job and leave nothing for myself. That is today, because tomorrow has been elusive for as long as I can remember.

Thank you Lymelight for sharing this: http://lymelightfight.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/what-i-wish-healthy-people-knew/

 

What I Wish Healthy People Knew

So painful, and so true. Even though just literally in the last couple months I have started to get my head above water, to have more energy, to not feel like I am in a complete fog all the time….My body and I are still at war. I still struggle with energy, still struggle with terrible swelling and water retention, still digestive problems, and PAIN. But there is a small light. Now the hard part is feeling like a person who has awakened from a coma and has lost years of their life that they cannot get back. As my peers are mostly married, and even having their second babies, here I am 34 and single, and if I may be so bold…never even been on a date. There is a piece of my life that should be there that isn’t, years that should have been lived and were simply lost. Where do I go from here as I look at complete wellness still being somewhere in the future; and not this year, maybe not even next year? I live day to day, because today I can manage. Today I can pull through. Today I can give 100% to my job and leave nothing for myself. That is today, because tomorrow has been elusive for as long as I can remember.

Lyme Light Fight

I’ve been a bit silent in my blogging lately.  I intend to give an update in a bit, but first I want to share something I found today that I thought was written quite well.  On the blog, Hope For the Journey, Kimberly Rae shares a list of things she wishes healthy people knew.  Looking over the list I found I agreed with many of the things she said, and so I was inspired to write my own.  I’ve borrowed a few of hers and added a few of my own:

1.How hard it is for me to make plans.  My condition fluctuates daily; I have no idea how I’ll be feeling next week or even tomorrow.  I can plan on going to Bible study all week long, but when the day comes–or just an hour before–I may suddenly be even more ill and be unable to make…

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“Pay Day”

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I am pleased to report that I had a pretty decent weekend. As a follow up to my car accident I did end up getting a new car on Friday, well new to me because it was a used 2008. Got a decent deal, and it has low mileage. I am feeling a little disappointed about having to take out another car loan, but such is life.

Besides that I was able to get on my bike a bit this weekend; besides just exercise biking gives me such a sense of freedom and joy, something I would never get from exercising indoors. Biking is perfect because you can adjust according to how you are feeling, and if you need to just coast a bit that is fine. But today is Pay Day. Pay Day is the day when your body bites back for having a few days of feeling better, and actually getting out and moving a bit. I woke up with a raging headache, the kind that throbs at the back of your neck if you move even a little. I did a sauna treatment last night on top of being out part of the day, so I am hoping I didn’t get dehydrated. Also my swelling has gone WAY up, my face looks like a little chipmunk, so I am thinking I probably have toxins dumping into my blood from my muscles, and probably an exercise induced Herx.

Ah well, I am trending towards having increased better days sprinkled here and there, and (at least for now) I am always going to pay for them. Someday I hope that will change…

So What DO You Eat? Final Entry

Final Entry of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

So I am not going to continue food blogging here, that has been a little temporary sidetrack.

Here is my daily addiction, and one I keep trying to quit. Everyday breakfast: Almond Butter.

Even though I am nut-free almonds are permissible, the problem is I eat a little bowl of homemade almond butter every morning. I want to vary my diet, but when I wake up in the morning my body is screaming for it. Problem is some almonds are fine, but in excess they are high in omega 6, which can cause inflammation… Got to beat this addiction someday.

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So What DO You Eat? Entry #5

Entry #5 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

Lettuce wraps

Romaine Lettuce, Organic Turkey, Broccoli Slaw, Fermented Carrots, Mustard, Homemade Guacamole, Cilantro, Green Onion

Thank you “New Hope Beyond Lyme” for the inspiration

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Car Accident

Hello my Lymie friends, as if there wasn’t enough going on with the whole chronic illness thing, I think I just totaled my car;
On this beautiful day I had been to Seattle for my colonic and a full lymphatic drainage treatment…ran a few errands, was a mile from my house on a suburban street when I started sneezing, reached for a napkin in my console and suddenly boom! Apparently I hadn’t realized I had drifted a little onto the shoulder…and hit a parked truck 😦 I am pretty upset at myself, other than my thumb I think I am pretty ok. I am now more worried about money and new transportation. Sigh, the drama continues…

My baby a few days ago…

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So What DO You Eat? Entry #4

Entry #4 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

Friday Night Dinner: Sushi Salad

All ingredients from Whole Foods

Disassembled Rainbow Roll (ever trace of rice removed,) Ahi Tuna, Salmon, Nori, Cucumber, Avocado

Kale, Lemon, Bragg’s, Chimichurri, cooked celery & broccoli, pickled ginger, onion

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This one isn’t agreeing with me too well, feeling a lot of swelling and water retention.

So What DO You Eat? Entry #3

Entry #3 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

So having Leaky Gut and a very limited diet I suffer pretty continually from malnutrition issues. I have to work HARD to get what my body needs. I am taking supplements up the yin yang, but beyond that super concentrated nutrition is also called for.

Shot of green juice with extra green!

Homemade juice: cucumber, kale, spinach, celery, carrot

Added super food green powder with wheat grass

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So What DO You Eat? Meal 2

Entry #2 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

Lunch Today: Raw Noodle Salad with Chicken.

Zucchini and cucumber noodles with mixed broccoli slaw.
Chicken
Kimchi
Apple Cider Vinegar
Homemade lemon dill paste
Himalayan salt
Coconut Aminos
Basil

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So What DO you eat?

This is something I haven’t completely and directly focused on before on my Lyme blog; Diet. As fellow Lymies know dietary restrictions are probably a huge and fundamental part of your daily life. If you eat the wrong thing your candida goes crazy…..your cytokines have a hay day making your inflammation worse….your stomach hurts like you ate acid and mixing cement….your bowels decide to shut down and just not do their job for a day or two….. Whatever your reaction it is miserable, and it is not a momentary discomfort, your immune system is compromised and you are dealing with die-off so anything that further upsets your body is a big deal.

    Which brings me back to the question, What DO you eat? This came up today in one of those awkward social situations where I found myself at a restaurant with coworkers, they had drinks and food, I had water. They are nice people and well intentioned, but it is still hard when you are kindly asked “well can’t you get that drink without the alcohol?” Well no I can’t. “Can’t you eat a crab cake? It’s crab”. Well no. And so on….Because there is sugar, dyes, chemicals… and who knows what else in that drink even without the alcohol. There are dozens of ingredients in a crab cakes besides crab including flour. It is really hard when you have to worry to the point that you cannot eat a grilled chicken breast at somewhere like KFC because whatever solution they inject it with or chemicals used to clean the raw meat before it is cooked make you sick for days…..And most almond milk brands are on your “No” list because of added tapioca flour or guar gum.

Since my diet is so uber super strict because of chronic inflammation, leaky gut, ibs, sibo, recurrent candida, toxic liver, etc. I think I will post a few of my meals over the next week or so in order that you can spy “what’s on the menu.”

Entry #1 of the Sugar-Free, Starch-Free, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free. Soy-Free, Nut-Free, Dairy-Free, Fruit-Free (yes at least for now), Mushroom-Free, Tomato-Free, Chemical-Free DIET. phew.

Wednesday Night Dinner

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Scrambled Eggs cooked in a pan with a little coconut oil, himalayan salt, zucchini and onions, with kimchi and homemade guacamole (fresh avocado, fresh lime juice, salt, garlic and fresh cilantro).

Very tasty! Don’t worry I am getting my veggies too. Look for more posts involving raw veggie salads and green juice.

Hopefully this will take a bit of the mystery out of how I live, because I got asked that tonight; “How do you live like that? If I had to eat like that I would die.” Well thank you, that was actually one of my options….